{"id":6145,"date":"2023-08-14T16:10:06","date_gmt":"2023-08-14T16:10:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/?page_id=6145"},"modified":"2026-04-01T16:11:22","modified_gmt":"2026-04-01T16:11:22","slug":"looking-after-yourself-when-youre-caring-for-someone-with-dementia","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/information-and-support\/looking-after-yourself-as-a-carer\/looking-after-yourself-when-youre-caring-for-someone-with-dementia\/","title":{"rendered":"Looking after yourself as a carer of someone with dementia"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Caring for a person with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/information-and-support\/about-dementia\/what-is-dementia\/\">dementia<\/a> can be physically and mentally demanding, so it\u2019s vital that you also look after yourself. Here\u2019s how you can stay well, maintain healthy relationships, and get the support you need.<\/p>\n<h2><a id=\"why\"><\/a>Why looking after yourself is important<\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Many people who have a family member with dementia find themselves in the role of full-time or part-time carer. And when you are looking after someone around the clock, you might find it difficult to think about your own needs, get enough rest, or take part in activities you enjoy. <\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"hmd-submodule-accordion-list-item-content hmd-module-wysiwyg\">\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">But you may not be able to continue caring for the person with dementia if you neglect your health, or if you don\u2019t have enough support or time to recharge your batteries.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">It\u2019s a bit like putting on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else during a flight emergency: by looking after yourself first, you\u2019re more likely to have the strength to look after the person you care for.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><a id=\"takingcare\"><\/a>Taking care of your health and wellbeing<\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">It\u2019s important not to ignore your own health needs. <\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"hmd-submodule-accordion-list-item-content hmd-module-wysiwyg\">\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Niggling pains or feelings of anxiety or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/information-and-support\/health-advice\/managing-depression\/\">depression<\/a>, for example, might seem like the least of your worries.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">But if you are having physical or mental health symptoms, you should visit your GP so any illnesses or conditions can be properly diagnosed and treated.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Other tips to keep you healthy include:\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">keeping up with regular dentist, optician and hearing checks<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">making time to be physically active \u2013 go for walks, play sports, swim, do yoga or join local exercise classes<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">keeping your mind active \u2013 read books or the newspaper, do puzzles or crosswords<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\">trying mindfulness: a stress reduction technique that involves developing our awareness and acceptance of what is happening in the moment, rather than ruminating on things that occurred in the past or worrying about what might happen in the future. You could try a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nhs.uk\/mental-health\/self-help\/guides-tools-and-activities\/breathing-exercises-for-stress\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">mindfulness breathing exercise<\/a> or just take five minutes to be mindful in whatever you are doing, eg going for a walk and focusing on the sights, sounds and smells around you; or having a shower and paying close attention to the sensations in the here and now<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><a id=\"enjoy\"><\/a>Enjoying time with the person you care for<\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">As the person\u2019s dementia progresses, you may find that your caring role overtakes your relationship with them as a spouse, family member or friend. But while your relationship will change, it can still bring you both enjoyment. <\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"hmd-submodule-accordion-list-item-content hmd-module-wysiwyg\">\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Rather than focusing only on the care you have to provide, try to find activities that you can still do together to strengthen your connection.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">You could try:<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"4\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">listening to music together<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"4\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">watching a favourite film or musical<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"4\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">going for a walk<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"4\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">looking at pictures of places you have travelled to<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"4\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"4\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">going through photos of the two of you together<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"4\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"5\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">physical touch, such as a hand massage<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><a id=\"relationships\"><\/a>Looking after your other relationships<\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">You may feel like you have no time to spend with other family members and friends, or that having a life outside of your caring responsibilities is unimportant or even selfish. <\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"hmd-submodule-accordion-list-item-content hmd-module-wysiwyg\">\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">However, it\u2019s really important to ensure you stay in contact with friends and family.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">This can give you opportunities to talk to other people about what you\u2019re going through and allow them to support you, as well as giving you vital time out to enjoy each other\u2019s company.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"5\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Let family members know what your caring responsibilities involve. Very often, other people don\u2019t realise just how much you\u2019re doing. Ask them to help \u2013 perhaps by sitting with the person with dementia once a week \u2013 so you can have a break<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"5\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">If possible, divide the various caring tasks you have amongst the family \u2013 it may be useful to create a rota<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"5\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Schedule a visit from a friend, or a phone or video call, at a time when the person you\u2019re caring for is asleep or at a day centre. Even a short conversation could lift your spirits<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"5\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Speak to your GP or Social Services about respite care, financial benefits and other services that are available to help you in your caring role. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/information-and-support\/looking-after-yourself-as-a-carer\/the-importance-of-registering-as-a-carer-with-your-gp\/\">Registering as a carer with your GP surgery<\/a> \u2013 which usually just involves filling in a simple form \u2013 means you\u2019ll be entitled to a range of support<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Keeping up with your other relationships and activities that bring you pleasure means that when your caring responsibilities change or stop \u2013 for example, if the person with dementia goes into a care home and no longer needs as much care from you \u2013 you still have things to enjoy and people to spend time with.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><a id=\"relaxation\"><\/a>Relaxation strategies<\/h2>\n<p>Even when time feels limited, taking small moments for yourself can make a meaningful difference to your wellbeing. The following simple strategies may help reduce stress and promote calm.<\/p>\n<h3>Progressive muscle relaxation<\/h3>\n<p>This technique involves slowly tensing and then releasing different muscle groups to help the body relax, holding each tension for 5-10 seconds before relaxing. You can do this sitting, standing or lying down.<\/p>\n<p>Start from your feet by curling your toes, then move through your calves, thighs, stomach and chest, pairing release with a deep breath. Continue with your hands, arms and shoulders, gently tensing and releasing. Finish by gently stretching and then relaxing your neck, and scrunching your facial muscles then relaxing. Finish with five slow, deep breaths.<\/p>\n<h3>The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique<\/h3>\n<p>This exercise brings your attention to the present moment using your senses, creating a sense of calm and clarity. Name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste.<\/p>\n<h3>Breathing exercises<\/h3>\n<p>Breathing techniques can be helpful during moments of stress or overwhelm.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Square breathing:<\/strong> inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four and pause for four. Repeat for around two minutes<\/li>\n<li><strong>4-7-8 breathing:<\/strong> inhale for four seconds, hold for seven, then exhale for eight. Repeat up to four times. This is particularly helpful before sleep<\/li>\n<li><strong>Diaphragmatic breathing:<\/strong> place one hand on your chest and one on your stomach. Inhale and exhale deeply, noticing how your stomach rises and falls<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Stretching<\/h3>\n<p>Incorporating gentle stretches throughout your day, such as neck tilts or shoulder rolls, can release tension. Pair each movement with slow, deep breathing.<\/p>\n<h3>Gratitude<\/h3>\n<p>Practising gratitude builds resilience, reduces levels of stress hormones and gives us something positive to focus on, even during challenging moments.<\/p>\n<p>Take a moment to think about someone or something you\u2019ve felt grateful for today or this week. Notice the positive feelings that arise. You could also keep a gratitude journal, writing down three things you\u2019re grateful for each day.<\/p>\n<h3>Music<\/h3>\n<p>Listening to music can provide comfort and relaxation during stressful moments. Try creating a playlist of your favourite tracks or soothing sounds to listen to whenever you need a moment of calm.<\/p>\n<h2><a id=\"support\"><\/a>Sources of support<\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">For any questions or concerns about <\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">looking after yourself as a carer or any other aspect of dementia<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">, you can contact our free <a href=\"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/information-and-support\/specialist-diagnosis-and-support\/admiral-nurse-dementia-helpline\/\">Dementia Helpline<\/a> on 0800 888 6678 (Monday-Friday 9am-9pm, Saturday-Sunday 9am-5pm, every day except 25<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">th<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\"> December), email <\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\"><a href=\"mailto:helpline@dementiauk.org\">helpline@dementiauk.org<\/a> or<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\"> you can <a href=\"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/information-and-support\/specialist-diagnosis-and-support\/book-a-virtual-appointment\/\">pre-book a phone or video call<\/a> at a time that suits you.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"hmd-submodule-accordion-list-item-content hmd-module-wysiwyg\">\n<h3><span class=\"TextRun SCXW248338505 BCX0\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW248338505 BCX0\">Dementia UK resources<\/span><\/span><span class=\"EOP SCXW248338505 BCX0\" data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:276}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/information-and-support\/looking-after-yourself-as-a-carer\/coping-with-feelings-of-guilt-when-you-care-for-someone-with-dementia\/\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Coping with feelings of guilt<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/information-and-support\/looking-after-yourself-as-a-carer\/when-someone-doesnt-recognise-you\/\">When someone with dementia stops recognising you<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/information-and-support\/looking-after-yourself-as-a-carer\/caring-from-a-distance\/\">Caring from a distance<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/information-and-support\/health-advice\/emotional-impact-of-a-diagnosis\/\">The emotional impact of a dementia diagnosis<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/information-and-support\/looking-after-yourself-as-a-carer\/changing-relationships-and-roles\/\">Changing relationships and roles<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Other resources<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.carersuk.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Carers UK<\/span><\/a><br \/>\n<span data-contrast=\"auto\">0808 808 7777<\/span><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/carers.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Carers Trust<\/a><br \/>\n0300 772 9600<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/revitalise.org.uk\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Revitalise<\/a> \u2013 respite breaks for disabled people and carers<br \/>\n0303 303 0145<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mind.org.uk\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Mind<\/a> \u2013 the mental health charity<br \/>\n0300 123 3393<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.samaritans.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Samaritans<\/a><br \/>\n116 123<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Caring for a person with dementia can be physically and mentally demanding, so it\u2019s vital that you also look after yourself. Here\u2019s how you can stay well, maintain healthy relationships, and get the support you need. Why looking after yourself is important Many people who have a family member with dementia find themselves in the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"parent":3723,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-6145","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.0 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Looking after yourself as a carer of someone with dementia - Dementia UK<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dementia affects daily life, impacting function at home and coordination.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/information-and-support\/looking-after-yourself-as-a-carer\/looking-after-yourself-when-youre-caring-for-someone-with-dementia\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Looking after yourself as a carer of someone with dementia\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. 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